IN-BETWEEN

In a few days the kids will be at school. Some will be returning while others joining for the first time. The advertisers have expressed the relief of parents with jingles singing “It’s That Wonderful Time of the Year”. Technically it is summer still, but the anticipated entrance of Autumn is now upon us.

Autumn is that “In-Between” season. It buffers the end of a glorious summer and the beginning of a potentially harsh winter. There are many “In-Between” times of life, such as:

-birth, life and death.

-junior school, middle school, high school.

-start of college, graduation and then finding employment.

-employment, career then retirement.

-kids with us and then kids gone, repeat.

-being single and then the first of several relationships.

-no permanent commitment and then marriage.

-marriage and then for some, divorce.

-health and then sickness and then hopefully back to health.

-parents here with us and parents gone.

-rest and then anxiety while searching for peace.

You get the point.

We tend to exalt summer and belittle winter. We make plans to escape the cold, snowy climate of Canada and travel somewhere warmer, brighter, more enticing. Canadian snowbirds are increasing exponentially with the mass retirement of baby-boomers. Sadly, we lose sight of the “In-Between”.

Each season has three months. For Autum there is September to October, October to November and November to December. Approximately 90 days. Those days are important to our life as any other period, regardless of the change in temperature, the hibernation of plant life and animals, shorter days and longer nights, frost and then snow. We focus on these changing elements and at times ignore the hidden beauty found within the In-Between. There is the beauty of the changing colors of the trees, the smell of wood burning fires, freshly baked bread, cakes and cookies, the abundance of fresh air, the overwhelming comfort of sweaters, hoodies and blankets, the first pristine covering of unblemished white snow and the excitement on kids faces, thanksgiving and turkey, pumpkin pies, the farmers’ harvest. The In-Between season of life called Autum has so much wonder to behold and experiences to enjoy. It prepares us to over come the darkness of Winter.

There are times in life when the “In-Between” is difficult to live through. Being healthy and then being told you are not, having to endure months and sometime years of treatments, multiple operations and endless consultations, always hoping a new season of health with vibrant energy returns. The In-Between of employment, then unexpected termination, and the stressful search for a new job, littered with rejection, disappointment and anxiety. The In-Between of an invigorating relationship, only to end suddenly, hearts broken, emotions uncontrollable, futures uncertain. And of course, as is now upon us, the In-Between of children who were once protected at home in our care, now being surrendered to a world in chaos with no apparent value system and a culture of extreme selfishness and narcissism. It’s scary.

How then do we, must we anchor ourselves during the In-Betweens that life without hesitation offers us?

 The In-Betweens of life are simply that, in-betweens, but in small letters. While a part of life they are not life in total, though we still need to deal with them. But how?

Be Patient, Not a Patient.

Many years ago, I received a gift during a Christmas exchange. It was a small picture, or plaque with these words printed:

“They that wait (patience) upon God, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings as eagles; they shall run and not get weary; they shall walk and not faint; teach me God to wait (patience).”

Waiting with patience is not easy. We want, expect and often demand results immediately. Unfortunately, we become a patient to our impatience. Our inability to wait for the best outcome results in the worse result. We become stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, with feelings of abandonment, loss of control, paralysis and hopelessness.

If we learn how to be and exercise the value of patience, our strength will be renewed, and we will be empowered to live joyfully through all circumstances.

Exercise Uncommon Faith.

It is difficult to discern what is and isn’t true these days. It seems no one is prepared to be honest. Our culture does not value integrity. Who do we and what can we trust? But if we seek the truth, and when we find the truth, the truth will set us free. Knowing truth exists, truth can be found, and we can have faith in the truth, this knowledge offers a liberation from the cultural shackles of injustice and falsehoods. Focus on those matters that are true, good, pure and profitable for your life. Have faith that truth has always overcome. The truth is, you are not to be a victim of your circumstances but will be a victor from your circumstances.

Release the Outcome to God.

There will come a point in time when you do not know what to do. You have tried everything. And so, you should. But your everything at times just isn’t enough. The doctor may say “there is nothing else we can do for you!”; the counsellor may surrender and give the situation back to you after admitting they are at a loss for resolution. Your friends walk away, your family distance themselves. Nothing is more present than something. What do you do? Simply, release the outcome to God. He/she expects us to try; when our strength is exhausted, when our attempts fail, when advice is weak and actions absent, it is time to admit and say: “God I release this situation to you, completely, and trust You to do what is best for me, for my life!” Sometimes, the In-Between is where God places us to prepare us for His/her display of love.

Don’t surrender to the falsehoods of the In-Betweens. Do not be discouraged by change. Embrace the opportunities of the current season of life, and prepare yourself for a better, more abundant and joyful journey. Be of good cheer and focus on all that is good.

 Merv

DON'T LOOK DOWN!

In our small town of Corner Brook, we did have an excellent community centre. It provided among many things an Olympic size swimming pool and accompanying diving platforms. As a kid, I had no fear of climbing the tallest platform, taking a good run for it, and diving into the water below. But that was not always to be. Corner Brook welcomed its first “skyscraper.” A twelve-story building, which for me, was amazing. My friends and I decided to climb its stairs to the top for a city-wide view. As I approached the top of the landing, I looked out the side window, then I looked down, and it happened. My fear of heights was born. A tightened stomach, wobbly legs, the sweats, and imaginary frights, became the norm. Gone too were my high diving days. To this day, I am paralyzed with the fear of falling. Watching simulated TV or CGI created scenes always reminds me of my fear of heights. I do not like it.

Most of us are afraid of something. Taking risks is a scary concept. We avoid the possibility of great relationships, profitable financial investments, exciting career opportunities, unbelievable personal achievements, and simply basic fun activities. As we age, the fear of declining health overwhelms us.

As a leader, an influencer, a role model, I must be able to cope and mange my own fears to help others deal with theirs. I have learned after twenty-five years as a President/CEO in for profit and not for profit organizations, there are three critical factors to understand.

 The FEAR FACTOR

What are you afraid of? For the past two to three years, we were all afraid of being infected of COVID 19 virus, becoming sick and/or dying a slow death, loosing a family member to the pandemic. We were afraid to travel, meet with family and friends, ride the train and/or bus, shake hands, or have someone breathing just a little too close to us. As the economy sputtered, we were afraid of losing our employment situation, incurring significant monetary loss, and watching our careers stall. As a leader, I was responsible to realize and understand these fears, especially in my employees, and offer them hope that all will be ok, even if I did not have the solutions completely defined and ready for implementation. If I do not understand their thoughts, their emotions, their responses, I risk losing my most valuable resource. As leader, a person of influence, we all must recognize what our followers are afraid of. We must then be able to give them hope.

I had procrastinated long enough. It was time to paint the top deck railing at the cottage. The railing had become very shabby. A real eyesore. As a new retiree, the cost of external help was prohibitive. But it meant climbing a twenty-foot ladder with no ground to base it on.

The HOPE FACTOR

The Holy Scriptures tell us to “Fear Not” (or some variant of the same). The command is recorded over one hundred times. The intent of the message is to give hope and may often be read as:  ″Fear not; for I am with you; be not terrified; for I am your God. Do not be afraid, nor be discouraged.” It has been said, “without hope we will perish.” As leader, to calm the fears of those I influence, I must provide hope, a solution, or solutions to their fears, hope that is realistic, achievable, and sustainable. If I understand the fears of my followers, but do not offer hope, those looking for leadership from me will be lost, discouraged, disenchanted. They could perish because being so encumbered by fear, they are paralyzed, unable to move forward, stuck on a ledge looking down instead of up and not wanting to move for fear of falling. My leadership role demands I provide hope, realistic hope, hope that will give them freedom from a prison of fear and set them on a journey of opportunity, realizing their full potential.

If I secured the ladder to the bottom deck, the risk of it slipping and me falling, would be extremely low. So that is what I did. Using many, and I mean many, bungee cords, and ropes, the ladder was as secure as one could make it. There was hope; I could do this.

The TRUST FACTOR

As a leader I may recognize my followers’ fears. I may even be able to offer them hope. But if I do not have their trust, all is lost. The TRUST FACTOR is fundamental to effective leadership. It is too late to ask followers to trust if we have not been trustworthy. If we do not have a record of trustworthiness, there are no words that will calm the fears of those we need to influence even if our message of hope is encouraging. Can you be trusted? Trust is measured against these critical elements:

Competence – Character – Conviction – Courage - Commitment – Consistency

As a leader, I must be competent. Simply stated, competence is just being able to do something well. It includes a list of technical and personal skills that can be drawn upon and applied to any given situation. Competence though is more than just knowledge. Knowing is fundamental. How to apply that knowledge to a particular situation is key. Joining knowledge and understanding together gives us wisdom. Competency then is the use of wisdom to deal with the fears of our followers so that they believe in you and trust you to take care of them, and they never lose hope.

What defines a good character? Jim Rohn in his article for Success Magazine outlined 6 Essential Traits of Good Character:

https://www.success.com/rohn-6-essential-traits-of-good-character/#:~:text=Rohn%3A%206%20Essential%20Traits%20of%20Good%20Character%201,Self-Sacrifice.%20...%205%20Accountability. %20...%206%20Self-Control. %20

·        Integrity-an undivided life.

·        Honesty-telling the truth.

·        Loyalty-stays with their friends.

·        Self-Sacrifice-always walking along side.

·        Accountability-allowing others to have a say in your life.

·        Self-Control-what we will do and not do with our actions.

If you miss any one of these character traits, you may find you just will not be able to lead.

Our convictions reflect our values. To compromise our values will certainly lead to failure (overall), emotionally and spiritually. Is it worth doing so? In the short term, it may well be. The reward of financial success, certain friendships, physical pleasure, professional appointment, and similar gratifications are indeed alluring. Good leaders, no let us say great leaders know their values and are led by their convictions. Those types of leaders have a more positive influence on others.

 One cannot lead without courage. Brené Brown - Leadership Courage - Strategies for Influence tells us: “Leadership courage is about leadership’s ability to choose courage over comfort. To choose whole hearts over armor, and building an organizational culture based on bravery and vulnerability. Some people think of courage as a lack of fear, but it is not. Courage is about accepting fear and the vulnerability that goes along with it, yet acting based on one’s beliefs, even in challenging or frightening situations. It is not always easy to recognize courage in leadership, particularly during mundane or unchallenging times. Without courage you cannot make a difference. Without courage you cannot have the right conversations that lead to change. Without courage you will not even get off the starting block as a leader. But it is how you show courage that is the crucial point here. Aristotle said that “courage is the first of human qualities because it's the quality that guarantees the others.”

A leader must be committed. Leadership commitment is about modelling the same behaviors you would expect in and from others. We will be effective leaders if we expect from ourselves what we expect from others. Leadership experts, Kouzes and Posner identified ten leadership commitments. For example:

·        Find your voice by clarifying your personal values.

·        Set the example by aligning actions with shared values.

·        Envision the future by imagining exciting and ennobling activities.

·        Enlist others in a common vision by appealing to shared aspirations.

The tone from the top, or the example set by leaders, determines the success of any action.

Leadership consistency is a critical factor. Do not start, then stop then try to do it again. Lack of consistency destroys our leadership effectiveness.

How do you, how do I compare? Am I the go to leader people seek? It is time for critical self reflection.

What of the ones we follow? Should we follow them? Should we support their leadership role?

We need a few good leaders; those who understand our current fears, those that can give us realistic hope of a better tomorrow, those that can be trusted to act with wisdom. Is this too much to ask and expect? I think not!

 Very slowly, very carefully, rung by rung, I climbed the ladder. As I stood at the top of this aluminum stairway, there was only one thing left to stymy progress. ME! My fear of heights. To overcome that fear, I decided I must not look down. I knew the ladder was secure. I knew it was possible to paint each section of the sixty-foot-long deck without mistake. I knew the key to my success was the trust I had to place in myself to do the right thing. With hope, with discipline, with confidence, with trust, after a week of painstaking work, the job was complete. “Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it, I asked myself?” And it was not.

Merv Hillier

OUR ROD OF FAITH

When I decided to exit my last CEO position my then Director of Finance, Oscar, presented me with a “walking stick”. He had it carved with a message “Mentor and Leader”. Of all the gifts I have ever received this is one that has made quite an impact. The message given was about the support and trust I provided as a leader to him and others in the organization. They had faith in me. As I look at it, this rod, this staff, standing there in the doorway of my cottage sunroom, it makes me consider this:

Psalms 23:1-4 New International Version

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear nothing, for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

In historical times, a shepherd consistently used both a rod and/or a staff to tend his flock of sheep.  Both a rod and/or staff were used to protect and care for the sheep, each in a very specific way. The sheep knew they were cared for just by a gentle touch of the shepherd’s staff.

From a very young age my mom taught me about faith. She quoted a simple verse from the Holy Scriptures: “Prayer changes things!”. Prayer demands one believes in someone of a higher order who has control over all things. That would be my understanding of God. God the omnipotent; God the omniscient; God the omnipresent. Many times, I have prayed to God asking for God’s intervention into my life’s events. Many times, God has and many times God has not intervened. Only two of these many events were what I consider life threatening but fortunately were not fatal. Certainly, the outcome of many others would be life altering to various degrees, but through it all I would survive regardless of God’s will, or God’s decision not to change their course.

But now it is different. Cancer had arrived several years ago and taken residence in my body. With the care of doctors, the cancer was driven underground and into remission. No one could say, I was cured. I believed my status to be an answer to a faith-based prayer. After several years of nothing, the cancer returned, though minimally. Had cancer won? Had my faith lost?

My oncologist has recommended I be placed in a clinical trial to receive a new approach (a second chance) for radiation treatment with hopes of reducing or eliminating the two tumours identified in the PET scan. If successful, a few more years gained but if not, the only recourse is hormone therapy. It is then the cancer driven mortality clock starts ticking.

I had thought because of previous prayers and positive outcomes, faith had prevailed. Now I am asking “how did my faith fail with this additional challenge?”

Faith demands I not only believe in God but trust in God and surrender my life to God’s will. In this situation, what might be God’s will? There were only three faith options for me to consider:

1.      God will directly heal and destroy the cancerous tumours.

2.      God by infusing the oncology team with special knowledge, experience, skill and use of advanced technology, provides a suitable defence.

3.      God does nothing and causes me to move on to another life, the after-earth life.

With each of these potential outcomes, God is in control. God will decide. My faith says to trust God. He becomes my rod and staff to comfort me during this time of fear, an unknown future.

I then realize faith is not about achieving a specific and personally satisfying outcome. It is rather, accepting God’s destiny for my life. Faith is believing God is sovereign.

There is no doubt I would prefer option one or two simply because for all its uncertainly, I do enjoy life. But if option three prevails, I must accept that as well. But can I change the outcome and prevent option three from occurring because of a faith that just might convince God to act in a certain way, to my benefit?

Prayer changes things. My life experiences have convinced me of that. I have several stories to tell of events that happened which could only be from God’s intervention. Ok then, I will say a prayer based on my faith in God. The Holy Scriptures says I only need the faith of a mustard seed to influence the outcome. I have more faith that a mustard seed. I have no doubt God is able. But is God willing?

What words do I need to say to convince God to heal me? What actions must I take? What promises must I make? What wrongs do I need to correct? What new purpose must I accept for life’s second chance? It is said “faith without works is dead.” I realize then if God is to grant me that life extension I am asking for, I must be willing to spend any gifted years fulling God’s new purpose for my life. Included then in my prayer for healing is the acknowledgement I will be ready and willing to accept a new assignment, a new focus, a new purpose as God defines and decides, for which I will dedicate all my talents, time, and thoughts to completing. I am good with that.

If then healing is not granted, I recognize and accept my life’s purpose has been fulfilled. The time left will be used to bless those I can as I prepare for a new life, somewhere, different, but God ordained. For me then, faith will have never failed. Faith allowed me to trust and accept life’s journey based on a God ordained purpose.

Faith is not simply hoping and believing for a desired outcome. Faith is accepting the sovereign will of God. God chooses. I accept. But I will never surrender hope.

We must have faith in that one thing that is everything. God’s sovereign will.

 Merv

 PS: I just received the latest tests results post radiation treatment. The Doc says (in his words) “I am very happy with the results”. Nice!

LOOK UP

And God said, “Let there be Light,” and there was Light. And God saw the Light was good. And God separated the Light from the darkness. God called the Light day and the darkness he called night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day. (Genesis 1:3-5 NASB).

I remember several years ago when I first purchased the land to build a cottage north of Toronto. One night while sitting out on the newly constructed front deck, a friend said, “look up”. We all gazed into the brilliance of the midnight sky. Without any interference or interruption, the magnitude of the starry night was presented. Never had I seen so many brightly lit stars. Every so often a shooting star would create a streak of light across the heavens. If you focused on a particular section, you could identify a circulating satellite. For the astronomer, outlines of various star formations were in plain sight. It was so quiet and peaceful. After many minutes of staring, my friends left, but I stayed. I continued to stare, wondering what was beyond in the far distant galaxy. I was only sure of one thing, that is, the world is bigger than I imagined, and its purpose well established for years to come.

Returning home, I attempted to create the same experience from my backyard. But the effect was not to be repeated. The majesty of the starry sky was lost among the city congestion. We, in the name of invention and progress had crowded out the beauty and brilliance of the heavens above.

Have you ever noticed as people go about their business and move hurriedly among each other while in the congested towns and cities, so many have their heads down, staring at their miniature computers or ears plugged while listening to audio to block out unwelcoming noise? Eye contact must be avoided completely. There is no point to look up because what is there to be seen? Buildings block; pollution hides; crowds demand the art of speed walking and avoidance; skillful negotiation of the sidewalks is an essential prerequisite for city living; bustling traffic hums its own tune; horns are never in sync; and our minds are filled with the stressful challenges of everyday living. We become a clog in the wheel of life simply spinning as fast as we must to keep up sometimes spinning so fast, we lose complete control of everything that is important.

The story is more than 2000 years old and shared repeatedly, every December. A baby was born. There were rumors that he might be in succession to be king. Ohers expected him to be a mighty warrior ultimately freeing the oppressed. Many sought after him. Some to kill and remove a perceived threat, others to pay their respects. But to protect his life, he was hidden, placed in a barn to remain obscure and out of sight. There were some astrologers travelling from afar. They were told to look for a particular star in the east, shining brightly in the heavens. If they found the star and calculated the coordinates correctly, the baby might be found. A prophetic promise of hope, this Light of the world, was discovered in a small town called Bethlehem. His Father expected him to take over the family business of wood working. His Mom had a hunch his calling in life would be peculiar if not unique and his worldly influence would be dramatic. He was called “Immanuel”. Neither thought at the early age of 33, he would be gruesomely murdered without justification. His followers were and are constantly ridiculed, mocked and often killed mercilessly for referring to him as their Lord. But his message of hope, a bright Light in a dark world, could not be snuffed. It remains so to this day.

(Bethlehem is situated on the southern portion in the Judean Mountains. The city is located 73 kilometers northeast of Gaza City and the Mediterranean Sea, 75 kilometers west of Amman, Jordan, 59 kilometers southeast of Tel Aviv, Israel and 10 kilometers south of Jerusalem. bing.com.)

Those seeking the baby found him but only because they first looked up.

What I have discovered and learned is in order to find the beauty, peace, joy and love that a new year promises, it demands I look up. For so many, everyday struggles can become prisons of the mind, body and spirit. These struggles are of course real and are further compounded by extra ordinary events such as the one we are now experiencing. But through it all, our hope is not to be found only or primarily in the promise of people, the short thrill of things obtained or the chase of the elusive, but in the surety of life. It has been said, without hope we perish. That is, we must never lose faith in a life that has been predestined to achieve. We must never lose hope in a future that will bring with it the promise to overcome difficulty. We must never lose the will to live. We must never doubt our worth, our purpose.

Whatever you are facing as we close this year and open the door to the next, look up. Do not let circumstances present nor events yet to come blind or paralyze you. Behind every dark cloud, the sun is still shining. Find a place where you can set aside all the attempts to hide and block what the Light of life is meant to be. Look up with the gifts of expectation, confidence, faith and hope. Our greatest gift is uninhibited hope. Be determined to live life abundantly.

EID, Diwali, Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanza are among many celebrations held during the year. While they may be observed differently both religiously and culturally and at scattered times, one promise that is common among them all is this: Light will overcome darkness.

You may be in a dark place. It may be difficult to see anything promising. But “the Lord is my Light and my salvation. Whom or what should I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life. Of whom or what will I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1 NASB).

Look up and witness the Light of the world overcoming all that is dark.

Be Safe. Be Well. Be Thankful. Never Lose Hope.

Merv Hillier

IT'S NOT YOU IT'S ME!

This world is becoming a cruel place. It seems the joy of living has been snatched from us. We have become empty souls among lives pretending to be happy. Outwardly, via social media, we place ourselves on display as if we are the fulfillment of everything good that life has to offer. Yet, nothing is further from the truth. In reality, we, or at least I have (I should not speak for you) become somewhat tired of life as it is presented. The criticism, the ridicule, the put downs, the insults, the prejudice and bias, the hate, the unrealistic and impossible expectations, have taken full occupancy of our speech, our words, our thoughts and our relationships. Twitter has become a cesspool of insults and ridicule. Instagram has become an easy place to hide behind doctored pictures of success and happiness. Facebook has become a illegitimate depository of falsehood and would be better called Fakebook. LinkedIn is starting to lose its way as a professional and supportive network, and has become increasingly a poetry book for inspirational quotes, sermons preaching the steps to success, amidst a competition to be more dramatic, philosophical and influential than the other. I hope we can exempt it from all the trash other social networking mediums has brought into our lives because it remains for me, the only place to benefit from online relationships.

To be frank, I need to escape the fiction this current world culture offers and find a place of reality, a sincere place of truth and peace, where I am accepted, loved and encouraged but as well held accountable for being me.   

I am beyond tired of being labelled with so many different names and characterizations by people who have never met me. What is even more troubling is being arbitrarily placed in a group that I never asked to join nor do I want to belong to.

ABOUT YOU

Here are the labels this white male, born in Newfoundland (who as a “Newfie” knows what prejudice and ridicule is all about), number five son of six children, for whom my parents left all they had in Corner Brook, moved to Toronto to provide more opportunity for us, of English descent, now 62 years of age, two mature and married children, a grandpa, a CEO since I was thirty-nine, always studying part time (DBA [Can], MBA, MSc HR, CPA, CMA, CDir, DipTh) since age twenty-one to achieve more so that I could not only provide the basics for my family, but provide a life of potential and opportunity so that they can be the best they can be.

But, some (not all) of you have told me I am a supremist, just for being white and because I am a male, I am a male white supremist. But like you, I didn’t choose the colour of my skin nor my gender. I just chose to work with passion and purpose and learn with perseverance and promise.

If I listen to my government, some of you have called me a racist, a bigot, even hateful, and as much as a Neanderthal, that is if I don’t agree with your policies and/or offer a differing opinion. You have labelled us (Canadians) as Nazis, Hitler like, intolerant, white supremist, anti-globalists, uneducated, misogamist, bewildered, unCanadian and many more. You have told me in so many words that I am no longer capable therefore, not allowed to think for myself. But you don’t represent all that is right and just. While I must respect your legal authority over me I am not required to accept and apply your humanistic values to my personal life. You have not been given any moral authority to be the supreme judge of everything.

If I refuse to comment on or respond to forced questions posed by “friends” via Facebook, you have told me I don’t value your relationship. But I don’t believe relationships should be held for ransom to a Facebook poll or how many likes are granted.

If I refuse to be imprisoned by Twitter, than I am called an illiterate. But I don’t want negativity to rule my life.

If I express concern about the unrestrained, uninhibited and sometimes revealing content of pictures found on Instagram, you have called me intolerant. But, am I not allowed to express my worries about the negative effects this popular social media’s misleading messages may cause to a person’s self-esteem?

If I say I believe in God you have been so blunt to call me an idiot. But I thought I had the freedom to express my faith as much as you have not to. It is what gives me hope in a hopeless world and without hope we perish.

If I don’t accept ALL the “news” as legitimate, you have said I am closed minded. In fact one of you, a well known journalist, actually told me to “go soak my head” because I disagreed once with one of your social media posts. But I thought we should attempt to discern the truth so that we know what is acceptable and right.  

If I don’t follow the current crowd or the opinion of a particular group, you have labelled me as a member of the “alt right”. But if I follow that reasoning, I have lost the freedom and right (within the law) to establish my own values for living.

If I question someone’s behaviour, you have told me I have unjustified phobias. But I can love someone but not agree with what they do as much as they can do the same with respect to me.

If I don’t follow the dogma of the church, I am told I am not good enough and I am going to hell. Yet your dogma keeps changing so how much faith can I place in what the church says; really not a lot.

If I buy my 3 year old grandson a micro truck or a car for his Hot Wheels track, you have said I am too focused on gender. But why should I withhold from him an amazing interest that he freely developed without manipulation in something that was common to his Dad and Grandpa? How cool is that!

In the midst though, of all of this craziness, I had an awakening. I realized, it’s not you that is the cause of my troubled state of mind, but it is me. It is not your responsibility, but I am the one responsible for my thoughts, for my actions, for my beliefs, for my joy, for my happiness, for my success, for my life. It’s not you that I should be focused on but I need to focus on my own personal well being. My life is not about what you think about me, it is about what I think about me!

ABOUT ME

I was always taught to love and accept others as much as I would want to be loved and accepted. I was taught everyone was equal regardless of race, colour, gender, culture, belief, religion, social status, and even behaviour.  I was taught to be kind. I was taught to work hard, to be a good steward, to be responsible, to respect those in authority over me. I was taught to give back a minimum of 10% of what I earned to those less fortunate so they might have a better life. I was taught to care about those who are in need. I was taught to honour my father and mother. I was taught to share. I was taught that outward appearances mean nothing, but one’s character is what matters. I was taught family is important. I was taught that success is not about the sum of my material possessions. I was taught to discern between error and truth. I was taught that God does exist and that God alone is sovereign. I was taught that my legacy isn’t a name on a building or words on a tombstone but is whether or not I did my best to live by the values I was taught and accepted as my own. I was taught to pursue my dreams, to realize my fullest potential. I was taught to enjoy life and each and every moment and the experience it presents. I was taught that there will be challenges, disappointments, failures, sorrow, but life is about my attitude and how I deal with these matters as opposed to allowing theses matters to take control. I was taught not to allow others to define who I am but to define who I am, myself.

I was taught to love everyone without exception, to be kind, to entertain strangers, to care for those less fortunate, to support the weak, to fight for the bullied, to uphold the truth, to protect our children.

I was also taught though, you may not believe the same and that’s ok. I was taught not to judge.

I was taught to be thankful for all of life's blessings in spite of its challenges which can be sometimes overwhelming.

What I was taught to be and do and have tried to become, though I do often times fail, is nothing like what some of you, who do not know me, have told me what I am.

So, for the good of the both of us, even though we cannot escape each other’s presence, it’s time we end this conflicted relationship. It is time for me to take complete control and live a life of freedom with purpose and passion.

But please understand, it’s not you, it’s me.

merv@mervhillier.com

LIFE'S GREATEST INTERRUPTION!

Finally, I was able to quietly and safely sneak into my long-awaiting bed. The down pillow provided a soft place to rest a tired mind. The light, warm comforter became a gentle covering over a weary body. The stillness of the night, told me convincingly, I had found a place of solitude and peace. But then it happened. A tiny hand touched my cheek. I opened my eyes and there he was with blanket in tow. “Daddy, I can’t sleep.” He had left his bed and made his way like a stealth fighter jet, into my bedroom, hoping his presence would cause me to take pity on his predicament. He innocently believed that with the magic touch of my embrace and the soothing sound of my voice, I would move him into his desired state of unconsciousness. Life as a parent is filled with constant interruptions that demand complete sacrifice, regardless. (Richard H. 2017.)

INTERRUPTIONS!

A knock on my office door while I am trying to complete a time sensitive, crucial report. Merv, “do you have a minute?” There is no such thing as just a minute. There goes my morning agenda.

A telephone call from Mom, longing to speak to someone, anyone, to break the boredom of retirement and calm the fear of old age. There goes my craving peace.

An email, a text, demanding immediate attention to a not so immediate issue. There go my defined priorities.

An unexpected visit from the kids, just as I have changed into my evening “comfort clothes” and settled into a rocking lounge chair awaiting the next release of Netflix's biggest series, on the big screen, with surround sound audio. There go my rest and relaxation.

Or,

Hurriedly racing to an appointment when a tire goes flat, the gas tank is emptied, the battery dies. I am on temporary hold. 

Rushing to the airport to catch a flight when delay or cancellation due to inclement weather is announced. I am going nowhere.

Just when my bank account has replenished itself, my basement floods, my roof leaks, my furnace blows cold air, my washer/dryer retires, my fridge no longer cools, my stove no longer cooks, my vacuum refuses to clean, my water pipes break. I am broke once again.

The news from my doctor of a serious, challenging health condition. My active, planned life takes another path.

My employer tells me my services are no longer required. I become lost in the employment jungle.

He says, she says, the marriage, the once “for better or worse” relationship is done. I am destroyed.

Our lives are full of interruptions. It is a given. We can’t run from them. We cannot escape. They chase everyone. They demand a response. They crave our attention.

Several thousands of years ago, the lives of a young couple in aspiring love, draped in innocence and filled with life’s promise, were shockingly interrupted. Engaged to be married, they were legally and emotionally committed to each other. But as was the culture and custom of their day, they were required to remain intimately abstinent until the waiting period (engagement) was completed, and the religious certification and ceremony of declaration was fulfilled. Then, for her and for him life’s greatest interruption: she discovered and announced she was pregnant. But with whose child he wondered? The baby to be born was not his. How does he respond to this unexpected and unbelievable interruption to both their lives?

He was legally allowed to “put her away”. That is, he could divorce her. Or, as the law at the time also permitted, he could have her stoned, put to death for this circumstantial evidence and perception of certain adultery. He could not.

He could deny her, to prevent any damage to his reputation. He could not.

And her family, well they could denounce her to protect their honor. Her friends could mock and ridicule her, for living a life of such ill repute. They could not.

She could run away. She could take her life, to avoid becoming an outcast. She could remain quiet, seek an abortion and kill any evidence of the mob's prejudged wrongdoing. She could not.

But why didn’t he, why didn’t they, why didn’t she?

The answer is simple: because of faith, because of hope, because of love, they remained committed to each other.

December separates us from reality. During this season of temporary cheer, reality takes on a different form. The December holidays of Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza and many others before (e.g. Eid-al-Fitr; Diwali, etc.), bring extraordinary and unordinary celebration: excessive drinking, eating, partying, and gifting, Decorations hide. Festivals distract. Special events, movies, TV shows, theatrical plays, church presentations, political speeches, they bury what is our truth.

But what has briefly become our reality gets interrupted. A new year begins. We declare it to be “A Happy New Year” but we know underneath the cycle of life, interruptions, will begin again.

We set goals to achieve, resolve to do better, make plans for a better life, knowing all too much that interruptions will do what they intended: interrupt.

That unexpected baby, born thousands of years ago, became humankind’s greatest interruption. At thirty-three years of age, his time had come, and he began to fulfill his purpose. His message was peace. Not by the sword, but in assessing our relationship with each other, he declared war on hate, on prejudice, on judgement, on greed. He fought for equality. He demanded nothing less than respect and nothing more than acceptance for and of each other. His message was built on a foundation of forgiveness and compassion.

Life’s greatest interruption taught us three things as we end the holidays and welcome another new year. He taught us to:

1. Have faith. Believe in yourself, and in others. Your opportunity is only limited by your faith.

2. Have hope. Believe our world will be a better place. Never give up. Be the change it needs.

3. Have love. Believe that you are loved. Love others as you would want to be loved.

As a new year approaches I know based on empirical evidence there will be times of joy. But, I also equally know there will be challenging interruptions. Unexpected interruptions. Some will be filled with wonderful news. Others not so much. How then should I live my life?

I will remain thankful I have a life to live and will resolve to be content in all things.  Life may not be perfect, but nonetheless, it has great opportunity and reward.

I am thankful that I can learn, grow, improve, achieve. I must demand change to self before I ask others to change their lives.

I am thankful that there remains a realistic hope for a better future regardless of existing circumstances. Without hope we perish.

I am thankful for people in my life who love me, and whom I can love, unconditionally. Not for what they do but for who they are.

I am thankful I have the power over my life to forgive myself and others. Forgiveness is a powerful release from emotional captivity. 

I am thankful I am in control of my attitude and my response to life is dictated by me. Others' opinions do not/will not define me.

I am thankful I have a passionate purpose. My life is intended to do unto others as I would want them to do unto me. 

This wonderful time of the year, of faith, hope and love, they may now be displayed and celebrated as temporal, but I will cause them to define my life, eternally.

Let’s welcome the new year and all its interruptions with the confidence and the assurance of prosperity for today, hope for tomorrow and the certainty of a blessed (eternal) life.

Happy New Year to you, your family and friends,

Merv Hillier

T. 416.409.6378

E. merv@mervhillier.com

W. mylifepassport.com

SLOW DOWN, BE STILL, KNOW THAT I AM

The hunting weapon was parked on the side of the road, barely visible to a hurried driver, used to patiently stock its prey. It was a stealth black Ford Explorer, with faint markings, just enough identity to meet what relevant laws demanded. Suddenly, lights were flashing, sirens blaring, road gravel spitting from underneath its spinning rubber tires. A potential victim was caught, but who?

“What’s the rush” were the words penetrating my wannabe deaf ears?

I had not given myself enough time to attend a 10:30am appointment. So, I was gratified that my NASCAR like driving habits on the highway did not yield any accidents or misfortune. That is, until I stopped, turned right and merged onto the town’s main street. My destination was only 500 meters ahead. As I parked the car on the far right of the road, out of harm’s way, my close victory was becoming an unwelcomed loss.

The police officer informed me they had clocked my vehicle traveling 85km in a 50km zone. There was no point in arguing against my unbelief. How could I have possibly accelerated so quickly while driving a 4 cylinder Mazda 3? After a painfully long wait, he confidently submitted a green piece of paper with all the pertinent details carefully outlined but only the wasteful dollars and expired points mattered to me: $265 and 4p, respectively. I tried desperately to temper my anger, diffuse my frustration and bury my pride as I exited the road’s shoulder, on to the main street and then into the driveway of my contact. But 60 seconds was not long enough.

What did I gain by such useless and careless behavior? By rushing, I stressed. The avoidable stress cost me dearly. The last words of the caring patrolman were spoken to me firmly: “SLOW DOWN!”

What does it profit me, or us, to rush through life? Does it matter if I am first to reach a chosen destination, accomplish a specific task or achieve a particular goal? Does it matter if I am second, third or last? Certainly, there are deadlines where time is of the essence and a sense of urgency is demanded of us. Careful project planning and time management allows us to achieve our goals and responsibilities successfully. But how much of real life have we missed or do we surrender because we exceed an unreasonable and all consuming speed limit?

Today is the first Monday of September. Throughout North America, it is called Labour Day. Labor Day is a federal holiday. It is customarily viewed as the end of the summer vacation season and then school restarts. No work is assigned to us, other than what we place on ourselves. The day should really be called “Slow-Down Day” because, as summer’s end draws near, and we settle into a more hectic pace, that is what we need to do-slow down.

An article (paraphrased) “Why Can’t We Slow Down?” posted April 7th, 2015 on emotiuonallyhelathy.org states it clearly:

“Slowing down can be terrifying because doing that which is deemed unproductive leaves us feeling vulnerable, emotional exposed and unworthy. Overworking hides these feelings of inadequacy or worthlessness, not just from others but also from ourselves.

As long as we keep busy, we can outrun that internal voice that says things like:

·       I am never good enough.

·       I am never safe enough.

·       I am never perfect enough.

·       I am never extraordinary enough.

·       I am never successful enough.

·       I am never rich enough.

·       I am never beautiful enough.

·       I am never acceptable enough.

Do you recognize that (lying) voice?

Far too many of us use “workaholism” to run from these shaming messages. When meeting someone for the first time we usually ask, “What do you do?” We ask because, in our time and culture, identity is defined in large part by occupation or job title. It is how we typically define ourselves and how we understand our place in the world. We also classify and value people based on what they do, how much they have, where they live and what titles they possess.

Part of who we are is what we do. But that it is not the deepest truth about who we are. We are first of all human beings-people created equal in the sight of all. But when things get switched around and our role or title becomes the foundation of our identity, we are reduced to human doings. And when that is the case, slowing down for ourselves, and for others becomes almost impossible to do.”

The sun is covered by grey clouds this Labour Day morning. There is an autumn chill even though summer has not left. The sound of dripping rain falls from water drenched trees. A brisk wind travels along the water’s edge. There are no sounds of boats, jet-skis, chainsaws, hammers or woodcutters. Human voices have not yet been raised from their slumber. It is a very beautiful moment but not as many would define it. There simply exists an unusual quietness.  A message is directed at us, words not spoken but nevertheless penetrate the mind and heart: “Slow down, be still, and know that I am!”

I am not what the world has defined me to be. I am more.

I am not my job, I am more.

I am not my residential address, I am more.                                                                                                                                              

I am not my degree, my title, my role. I am more.

I am not my race, my color, my religion, my gender, my age, my caste. I am more.

I am not my money, I am more.

To my wife I am a husband. To my kids I am a father. To my kids’ kids, I am their past. To my friends I am a friend. To my employees I am a leader. To my students I am a teacher. To the world, I am a role model of how life is to be lived and shared. Through life I am an experience.

I don’t need to race to the finish line. I just need to finish well and be determined to enjoy the journey. So, on this Labour Day, slow down, be still, and know who you are is not defined by the varied extent of what you do and how fast you do it, but by the wonderful experiences that forever measure how well we have lived.

Merv

T. 416.409.6378

E. merv@mervhillier.com

W. mylifepassport.com

I WAS GOOD TO HER!

“People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.” Dali lama

North West Brook, Newfoundland is a small community located next to Clarenville, a focal point for many outliers, just two hours north west (hence its name) of St. John’s. Though I was born on the Rock, as NL is called, that part of the island was unfamiliar territory. Upon my first visit I can truthfully say, it is simply a beautiful place. A small number of homes outline the water’s edge which opens up into Trinity Bay. My Uncle Will Bursey was born there, eighty five years ago. Over the course of his life he worked as a heavy equipment operator in various locals but settled in Corner Brook. There he met his wife Gwen, my mom’s only sibling, a sister. I was born on Aunt Gwen’s birthday, December 19th.

A small gathering of family and friends assembled at the NWB community church to bid farewell to a wife, a sister, an aunt and a friend. Tributes were given, songs were song and prayers were offered, all in a manner as one would expect at a traditional funeral service. At several receptions kind words were spoken of a woman who was remembered for her brilliant and inviting smile. But the words of her faithful and respectful husband stirred my heart and challenged my mind.

My brother Harold and I were accompanying Uncle Will from his place of lodging to the church. As we travelled the road parallel to the shining water, Uncle Will pointed out a rock on which as a kid he sat many times with a fishing rod in hand, ready to land that evasive salmon or slippery trout. We suggested in a few months once the harsh Atlantic weather cleared, he will be able to do the same again. He laughed. As we drew closer to the church in which Aunt Gwen lay, awaiting a final farewell and then burial, Uncle Will, as he recalled fifty five years of marriage, made a striking and powerful statement: “I was good to her. I have no regrets.”

I was good to her.

Uncle Will and Aunt Gwen had no biological children to call their own, but they had many nieces and nephews. The impression they left on others and on me was summed in those five words.

I thought of what Uncle Will meant when he declared “I was good to her”. But then quickly his meaning was brought to my attention. I recalled the words written in the first book of Corinthians, chapter thirteen.

LOVE

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a ringing gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and exult in the surrender of my body but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered; it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails.

Uncle Will was simply saying, “I loved her, and the oath I offered to her fifty five years ago in the presence of family and friends and under the law of man/women and God, was manifested in how I respected Gwen in all I said and did.”

What a testimony! What an example! What a legacy!

I recently attended a session where the leader challenged us on the subject of relationship. He had placed two very large black chalk boards on each side of the room. On one board we were to write the names of those people who had been “good to us”. On the other board, we were to write the names of those who needed us to be “good to them”. Though I did not physically participate in the exercise, mentally I made two lists as suggested. I thought of those people who had invested their time and resources in my life to help me along life’s journey. I could name many individuals who were good to me. I then made a list of those in whose lives I believed I had made a difference, who I thought I was by my actions, good. But how would I really know?  I then proceeded to make a third list, a list of my immediate family: Linda, Richard, Joanna, my mom Joyce, my step-mother in law Diane, my brothers David, John, Harold and Lloyd and my sister Barbara. I remembered those who had passed, my dad William, my father in law Bill, and my mother in law Ruby. For them all, could I say “I was good to them”?

This simple principle of life is stated and confirmed in two equally powerful commandments from the Holy Scriptures:

“In everything, treat others as you would want them to treat you, for this fulfills the law.”

“Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has also fulfilled the law.”

Very intelligent and learned men and women have written volumes of laws to manage our behaviour focusing on our relationship with one another. So often these rules have failed us. Murder, domestic violence, bullying, hateful language, broken families, wayward kids, assault, theft, fear mongering, deceit, fraud, lies and abuse have not been eliminated but in many cases continuously overwhelms communities like an out of control and raging fire. Our damaging behaviours give birth to savage dictators, wars and crimes against humanity, oppression and even starvation.

But what if each one of us reflected on our relationship with others and tested our behaviours against this one question: Was I good to her, to him?

If you or I said no to that question regarding someone we had relationship with or are in a relationship, what would we need to change to say yes?

If you or I said yes to the same question, do we believe those people we have acknowledged would agree with us?

It is said that it is appointed to us to live, to die and then judgement. How then shall I live? When I die, how then shall I be judged?

Uncle Will was not an educated man. Nor was he wealthy. But the legacy he left behind for us was worth more than gold could buy or a learned person could write. As Aunt Gwen was lowered into a frozen ground, he bent over and kissed the container that held her safely. We observed a man of principle, one who taught us to put others’ needs before our selfish desires, to treat them with love, with respect, to honor them in word and deed and to do unto them as we would want them to do unto us.

A simple man who lives a purposeful life with no regrets left us this message: “Be good and do good to everyone you are in relationship with!” WB

Merv

T. 416.409.6378

E. merv@mervhillier.com

W. mylfiepassport.com

There Was Evening and There Was Morning, Another New Day

It is early morning. The sun has not yet appeared to disperse the hours of darkness that had settled upon our lives the previous evening.  But an early rise is necessary to prepare for another new day. I adopt a rush to cleanse, dress and ready myself for the day’s events. An unpredictable and challenging drive to the metropolis awaits. Seventy-five minutes in stop and go traffic to manoeuver among and defend against hurried and impatient drivers, who willingly risk damage to vehicles and injury to self and others in order to be the first in a growing maze of anxious commuters. Thankfully another safe arrival is achieved. After a twenty minute walk, I among many enter a familiar door. A long line of people to my left excitedly await to receive their order of caffeine, a perceived boost to begin the day. I walk past them, down a busy corridor leading to a stairwell. Even at this time of day, many people have gathered to attend to life’s needs. The circular staircase leads me two stories downward to a reception area on floor 2B. Without a call or announcement, I place my green, bar coded card under the light of the scanner. On the computer screen, my legal identify and birthdate appear along with the name of the room I am to enter, T11. We each scout for a place to sit, and then we wait.

Some sleep, others read. A few are talking to their neighbours in adjoining chairs or connected by cellphones. The TV screen showcasing yesterday’s news has become a good distraction. Others block out their environment by utilizing an iPod. Several pass the time reading and sending texts. Many are just content to be still and contemplate where life has brought them.

It is a place though of no discrimination. Race, physical attributes, gender, color, dress, religion, age, social status, economic welfare or language does not live here. What makes each one equal is their situation. Disease is no respecter of persons.

Mom holds the young child patient by his hand. As he plays, he is unware of his circumstance. A husband supports his wife as she carefully and slowly finds her way. A young man holds his Dad’s arm. Another Dad walks closely with his son. The contrast is striking. Sometimes families arrive to demonstrate love and support to one of their own. Several have arrived by wheelchair, barely strong enough to make the wheels turn and direct their way. Papa is accompanied by his granddaughter. Many widowers silently wait for their named to be called. Two very young women appear. Neither are acquainted with the other but their physical similarities cannot go unnoticed. During my assessment I wonder who cares for them and do they feel cared for.

There are one hundred and eighty therapists. They conduct 18,000 treatments annually. But with each separate and individualized treatment they must not only ensure the technical and clinical specifications are mastered to perfection, but as well it is their responsibility to make us all believe they care about us. So they call each of us by name. Sometimes it is Mervin, other times it is Mr. Hillier (just to be respectful). Pronunciations differ based on which therapist is at the door. Hillier may sound like Hillyer or Hiller, the English version. My favourite is the French version “illyay”!  My preference is simply to be called "Merv" but there is no need or desire to correct any of them.

With uninterrupted consistency their welcome is energized with a smile, a comforting voice and a verbal embrace. While no doubt repeated thousands of times they ask “How are you?” We do feel and believe they care about our wellbeing.  But they cannot take upon themselves our burden or they will become overburdened emotionally. They practice the science of caring but must be extremely careful they are not afflicted with the art of caring. Doing so will lead to dysfunction, and what does that achieve for them or for us? We just need them to stay focused on caring for us technically. It is important I say thank you to each of them for the tireless hours of standing, for the meticulous attention to detail and challenging repetition.

I am instructed to lie down on a eight foot long bench which is no more than twenty-four inches wide. Seven hundred and fifty milliliters of stored water is demanding immediate release. My feet are placed in a premanufactured plastic mould. Laser beams pointing from the side of each wall and the ceiling above are aligned to the designated tattoos on my abdomen. The “LINAC” is adjusted and positioned with the press of a few buttons. It appears simple but the therapist’s technical skill is critical to a successful outcome. A heavy wrap is placed on my legs to discourage any unnecessary movement. I wonder what will happen if I have to sneeze. The upbeat music is encouraging me to tap my foot. An itch develops on my cheek. I must contain myself just for ten minutes. My hands are held tightly as they rest on my upper chest. A buzzer sounds. All systems are ready to go. The attendants quickly exit the room to avoid the risk of being constantly contaminated by beams of destructive radiation. They watch me on a screen from a protected place. I lie patiently as the machine purrs, positions, rotates, stops, and then repeats its programmed cycle. There is no visible evidence of any productive work being accomplished. I can only hope. The momentary isolation and imprisonment can be unnerving. For a few moments I question God as to why I am here in this place and why my prayers for healing have not been answered. But I am reminded that the Creator has provided through human innovation a sophisticated and technological advanced method for providing healing that I must trust will accomplish what is intended. God’s ways are not my ways.

The therapist re-enters and with encouragement says: "All done!" It is time for me to dress and exit as another patient waits to take my place. She hurriedly removes all evidence of my presence. We say warm goodbyes to each other and acknowledge meeting again the next day. I walk quickly to my car and drive with haste to arrive at the office to attend to work’s obligations. My email folder has many messages but one in particular has caught my attention.

When we hear of people’s difficult situations, many of us do not know how to respond. We have all often heard:

“My thoughts are with you.”

“I will pray for you.”

“Hope everything works out well.”

“All the best.”

“May God help you!”

But these do little to demonstrate care or concern (though one's offering of continual prayer in such circumstances is comforting to those who believe in God and sometimes even to those who don't). Such words fall easily off our lips but have no real meaning or significant impact. From some I appreciate their honesty. “I don’t know what to say or do. If there is any way I can help please feel free to ask me.” Their admission is real and the concern is believable.

The words we say, are often times defined with shocking insensitivity.

Over the years a group of us have met regularly to enjoy a few days of ATVing. It is an activity I enjoy immensely. An email was sent by a member of the group to all of us calling for a September ATV trip. In parenthesis were the words:  “Merv, I realize your situation will not allow you to participate. Our thoughts and prayers are with you”. Then he continued to suggest dates and specifics for the rest of them to get together. An extended conversation about the difficulty to set a particular date due to the interference of vacations and travels ensued. Never was the question asked about when my treatments were finished or when I might feel ready to participate again. There was no real empathy towards my state of mind or my physical constraints.  

I am a sensitive individual by nature both in giving and receiving feedback. But this conversation made me question my own responses to others in challenging situations. Do my words speak of concern? Are they formed with empathy and sensitivity to the other person’s needs? Are there times that yes, my life activities are best temporarily suspended for the benefit of others and not my selfish desires? We may invoke God in an attempt to make others feel or believe we care but I believe God asks us to be more involved, take more action, be more responsible and develop and exercise a tangible example of genuine care.

How then do we, must we answer the question “Who Cares”?  Maybe we cannot expect the difficult from each other. Maybe our expectation can only be found as written in 1 Peter 5:7 – “Cast all your anxiety on God because God cares for you.” Is that enough? What does God expect of us? What do we expect of each other?

And then there was evening, and then there was morning. Another new day is presented to each one of us. But who cares?

Merv Hillier

T. 416.409.MERV

E. merv@mervhillier.com